Some Clarity

I've been struggling for a while now on what my path looks like. I found Fat Acceptance and thought of not changing much at all. Then I was tempted with some crazy diets and weight loss promises. I am beginning to think that I can find a nice balance between FA, health and losing weight. I want to lose at least 10 pounds to see how that feels on my body and my health. There are a few side effects of my weight that I suspect would be better if I was a little bit lighter, like sleeping and foot pain. I realize that I can accept other quite easily, and I fully agree with the components of the FA movement. In addition to that, I know that for me, I need to get healthier and take responsibility for my body. That includes accepting it and cherishing it, and more importantly, taking good care of it through getting enough sleep, exercise and nutritious food. I am not advocating any major restrictions or extreme exercise, because I know for me, it's not worth it.

I've been reading a lot of blogs lately about body image, FA and such. I can't believe how much hatred there is, well, maybe I can believe it, but it makes me feel down. This one blog, obviously not of the FA persuasion, talked about how anyone over a size 10 had to be fat, with no exceptions. It just made me really angry at the ignorance and the overall judgement. Of course the comments lambasted the female writer for being such an idiot. I just don't understand why people don't get it: people come in all shapes and sizes. It's hard to compare it to other scenarios, but maybe it would be like lambasting someone for having straight hair, or curly hair, or blue eyes. What I keep coming back to is that no matter what the reason is for a person being fat, it doesn't give anyone the right to mistreat them, ever.

On a side note, I sometimes think of my own fat as a shield. When I was single, it kept the men who were looking for arm candy away. It has always kept friends away that would hate to be seen with a fat woman. So I guess in a strange way it has done some good for me. My husband and friends love me for me, no matter what size I am at. Listening to some women say that fat women cannot be happy makes me angry, but then sort of calm down and realize that its just plain ignorance. I also wonder why these people get so angry at fat people. I wonder if they are made because they are working their asses off and are miserable, so they have to direct that anger somewhere. Sort of like, "Here I am going to gym 7 days a week, eating nothing but coffee and vegetables, fitting into my size 4 clothes. How dare these fat people be happy with their bodies and their lives, AND enjoy food! The gall!!!" That's just a guess of course, but sometimes I definitely pick up on that vibe.

So here I am, on my journey, in hopes of finding the right balance.