It's been approximately one week since I've been 'back in the game.' But this time there won't be any end, even if there are a few blips along the way. Last night when I went to pick up A&W I made a good choice. Even though I had a coupon for 2 teen burger combos, I instead got the grilled chicken sandwich and a side salad with a diet root beer. This is a small victory for me, and thus worth noting.
I went through a bunch of pictures last night at home for some inspiration, and I found quite a few. I've just got to keep my eyes on the prize.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Arg!
OK, sorry about the previous post being sort of wonky in it's layout, but that's as good as it's going to get for now. Maybe I'll figure it out by the time I post the Oct 1 pics.
I am taking today as a rest day, so I'll just do some stretching and a light walk around my work building. Then back in the saddle tomorrow.
I am always anxious when I restart my healthy approach, because I fear that it will be like every other time that I have 'tried' and then subsequently 'failed.' This in itself is it's own issue, because from now on there will be no beginning and no end. This is a change to a healthy lifestyle, so I need to stop thinking about its edges. I need to do this continually, and with vigour. I look at my 'before' pics and I tense, because I think of the magnitude of what I need to do.
But when I really look at it, and think back to articles I've read, I remember that it didn't take me a few days to get here, and it sure as hell isn't going to take a few days to get back to a healthy physique. It took me approximately 14 years to gain all this weight, so if it takes me a few years to take it off I'm doing good.
Another lie I have told myself in the past when I make a mistake, is that I'll start over tomorrow/Monday/later/etc. This time, I am correcting immediately, the very next change I get. This can't be a 'diet' that I stick to for a little while and then bail on. It has to be so much more than that.
I am taking today as a rest day, so I'll just do some stretching and a light walk around my work building. Then back in the saddle tomorrow.
I am always anxious when I restart my healthy approach, because I fear that it will be like every other time that I have 'tried' and then subsequently 'failed.' This in itself is it's own issue, because from now on there will be no beginning and no end. This is a change to a healthy lifestyle, so I need to stop thinking about its edges. I need to do this continually, and with vigour. I look at my 'before' pics and I tense, because I think of the magnitude of what I need to do.
But when I really look at it, and think back to articles I've read, I remember that it didn't take me a few days to get here, and it sure as hell isn't going to take a few days to get back to a healthy physique. It took me approximately 14 years to gain all this weight, so if it takes me a few years to take it off I'm doing good.
Another lie I have told myself in the past when I make a mistake, is that I'll start over tomorrow/Monday/later/etc. This time, I am correcting immediately, the very next change I get. This can't be a 'diet' that I stick to for a little while and then bail on. It has to be so much more than that.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
"Before" Pics
I would much rather call them 'before' pics than current pics. But they are what they are. This post and my measurement post help with accountability and reality. I plan on taking measurements, body fat and pics every 12 weeks to note progress.
Seeing this front pic is tough. I can't believe how big my middle area is compared to the rest of me. My legs look so short, even though I think they are pretty average for my height (5 foot 8). And I always thought my chest was bigger than my belly, which is clearly not the case.
Seeing this front pic is tough. I can't believe how big my middle area is compared to the rest of me. My legs look so short, even though I think they are pretty average for my height (5 foot 8). And I always thought my chest was bigger than my belly, which is clearly not the case.
Like the front view, this is also tough to see. I might look short because of the way the pic was taken, from a much taller person. Oh denial, I look for any excuse to explain what I see.
Ah yes, the side profile, quite painful. Aside from what I noticed above, I can't help but think how small my feet look. I'd noticed this about other heavier women before and I just assumed they had small feet. But I wear size 10.5, so my feet are plenty big.
In light of the pics shown here, there are several 'lights' that come to mind. I will be pleased with my progress when my stomach does not precede me when I enter a room, when I am more in proportion and no body part really defines me. Yes, I know that my tummy shouldn't define me, but it really affects how I see myself. And besides, clearly there is a lot of work to be done here. A lot.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
'Before' Measurements
Here are my 'before' measurements (ouch) with my current weight being 296.6:
Good god my girth astounds me! These are some tough numbers to look at.
I'm 5 foot 8 inches. Ugh.
Good god my girth astounds me! These are some tough numbers to look at.
I'm 5 foot 8 inches. Ugh.
- Weight: 296.6 pounds
- Body fat: 51.3%
- Neck: 17 in
- Chest: 54.5 in
- Waist: 48 in (smallest point)
- Low waist: 51.5 in (at belly button)
- Hips: 57.5 in
- Thigh: 32.25 in
- Calf: 19 in
- Wrist: 7 in
- Ankle: 10.5 in
Teeny Victory
I said no to cake. Free cake. This is a small victory for today.
As for yesterday, I went to dinner with a girlfriend and I didn't have dessert. Then we went to a movie, and all I had was water. This also counts as a small victory on the health front. I am hoping that each small victory can propel me to make more good choices in the future.
We also went shopping in Old Navy and I fit into some gear there, albeit in the XXL size. But still, it was kind of exciting. That is one of the things I am really looking forward to, is having more clothing options, instead of just the plus size stores. I love A&E, but I'm almost too big to shop there, there tops barely fit, and the bottoms are hit and miss, and this is even since they added size 26 to their selection. The jeans I have on today are a size 26 and the waist is pretty snug. Ugh!
A few days ago J commented that my blog is pretty negative, in that I focus on negative things. I was sort of annoyed by that comment for a few reasons. First, I am blogging the reality of my health right now, and it just so happens that it's a bit of a downer. That will likely change over time. Second, I assumed that my blog is my business, and it's sort of like my journal, so when I'm feeling negative, it'll reflect that. I'm new the world of blogging, although I've had a journal since I was 12. I've made this blog public, although I seriously doubt anyone will read it other than my friends, and I don't even expect them to really follow it. It's more for me to rant and rave and hopefully make some serious progress.
I read a few other weight loss blogs, for lack of a better term, and I find them very inspiring. But I don't expect mine to be particularly inspiring until some progress is made. So we'll see. I'm here to track my success and failures and to get it all out onto the screen so that it doesn't stay locked in my worrying mind.
As for yesterday, I went to dinner with a girlfriend and I didn't have dessert. Then we went to a movie, and all I had was water. This also counts as a small victory on the health front. I am hoping that each small victory can propel me to make more good choices in the future.
We also went shopping in Old Navy and I fit into some gear there, albeit in the XXL size. But still, it was kind of exciting. That is one of the things I am really looking forward to, is having more clothing options, instead of just the plus size stores. I love A&E, but I'm almost too big to shop there, there tops barely fit, and the bottoms are hit and miss, and this is even since they added size 26 to their selection. The jeans I have on today are a size 26 and the waist is pretty snug. Ugh!
A few days ago J commented that my blog is pretty negative, in that I focus on negative things. I was sort of annoyed by that comment for a few reasons. First, I am blogging the reality of my health right now, and it just so happens that it's a bit of a downer. That will likely change over time. Second, I assumed that my blog is my business, and it's sort of like my journal, so when I'm feeling negative, it'll reflect that. I'm new the world of blogging, although I've had a journal since I was 12. I've made this blog public, although I seriously doubt anyone will read it other than my friends, and I don't even expect them to really follow it. It's more for me to rant and rave and hopefully make some serious progress.
I read a few other weight loss blogs, for lack of a better term, and I find them very inspiring. But I don't expect mine to be particularly inspiring until some progress is made. So we'll see. I'm here to track my success and failures and to get it all out onto the screen so that it doesn't stay locked in my worrying mind.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Changing is Hard
Changing habits is a hard thing to do. I had a small success on the weekend: I was watching tv and J was outside with the pooches. I thought, "I need chocolate, I am going to have some while he's outside and can't see me." I got up to go to the kitchen and on the way there I realized that not only did I not need the chocolate, it wasn't actually something I really wanted, but I also needed to stop the thought pattern that accompanies this. I can't always have all the sweets I want, as those habits are what got me to almost 300 pounds in the first place. So change is in the air.
I have sort of become anti-diet. Every single time I've 'dieted' I end up losing a little bit of weight and then gaining it back and then some. In the last year, I quit dieting and my weight finally stabilized. So my approach this time is moderation and slow weight loss. I am focusing on eating healthy, which I will go into more detail on later, and exercising at least 30 minutes everyday. Right now that is walking at lunch, but I will add in resistance training in a few weeks, once I'm back into the groove.
The Canada Food Guide has a pretty good layout for healthy eating (http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/index-eng.php). I am taking a lot from there, trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, lean protein and complex carbohydrates. I'm also hoping to implement a intuitive eating approach that means listening to your body for hunger cues, eating when hungry, not eating when full. That seems sort of obvious to a lot of people, but for me, I get used to eating on a schedule, and I often eat because it's there, or I'm stressed, etc.
This is a new beginning for me. I hope to add links to useful sites that I find along the way. A blog that I found recently is very inspiring for me, in terms of goals, and in terms of my own blog. Check it out at: http://www.dietgirl.org/dietgirl/. In my own defense of just saying that I am anti-dieting, this blog is not a traditional diet site, but a very inspiring story about a woman who lost half her weight, slowly and sensibly.
I have sort of become anti-diet. Every single time I've 'dieted' I end up losing a little bit of weight and then gaining it back and then some. In the last year, I quit dieting and my weight finally stabilized. So my approach this time is moderation and slow weight loss. I am focusing on eating healthy, which I will go into more detail on later, and exercising at least 30 minutes everyday. Right now that is walking at lunch, but I will add in resistance training in a few weeks, once I'm back into the groove.
The Canada Food Guide has a pretty good layout for healthy eating (http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/fn-an/food-guide-aliment/index-eng.php). I am taking a lot from there, trying to eat more fruits and vegetables, lean protein and complex carbohydrates. I'm also hoping to implement a intuitive eating approach that means listening to your body for hunger cues, eating when hungry, not eating when full. That seems sort of obvious to a lot of people, but for me, I get used to eating on a schedule, and I often eat because it's there, or I'm stressed, etc.
This is a new beginning for me. I hope to add links to useful sites that I find along the way. A blog that I found recently is very inspiring for me, in terms of goals, and in terms of my own blog. Check it out at: http://www.dietgirl.org/dietgirl/. In my own defense of just saying that I am anti-dieting, this blog is not a traditional diet site, but a very inspiring story about a woman who lost half her weight, slowly and sensibly.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Sleeping Fatty
The truth can really, really hurt sometimes. Sort of like right now, as I remember once again what lies before me, and what I really need to do. There is no denying that I have to lose weight, probably at least 75 pounds. And while I don't want to obsess over the scale, it will no doubt have to decrease.
So in light of this truth, I am setting the following long-term goals:
1. Lose at least 75 pounds
2. Exercise at least 5 times per week
3. Eat healthy by reducing the amount of junk food, eating more fruits and vegetables
4. Taking care of my body and appreciating it
Immediate goals:
1. Lose 5 pounds (reach 291.6)
2. Go to the gym at least 2 times per week for strength training
3. Walk at least 3 times per week
In finishing my degree, I realized that I can meet goals that I set for myself, even if it takes some time. Also, I have much more time now that I'm done, so this will be my next big project, pardon the painfully obvious pun.
So in light of this truth, I am setting the following long-term goals:
1. Lose at least 75 pounds
2. Exercise at least 5 times per week
3. Eat healthy by reducing the amount of junk food, eating more fruits and vegetables
4. Taking care of my body and appreciating it
Immediate goals:
1. Lose 5 pounds (reach 291.6)
2. Go to the gym at least 2 times per week for strength training
3. Walk at least 3 times per week
In finishing my degree, I realized that I can meet goals that I set for myself, even if it takes some time. Also, I have much more time now that I'm done, so this will be my next big project, pardon the painfully obvious pun.
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