Knowing

I am in a bit of a body-hating cycle right now, I am sad to admit. I was flying pretty high on the FA premise, feeling like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, pardon the overused pun. Now I'm feeling pretty low about my body and my weight, so I'm going to try to find some good FA/self-acceptance literature to change my perspective.

There is such a difference between learning about something and graduating to 'knowing' it on a deeper level. But even though I realize that it will take some time to really live FA, I am frustrated none the less. I even found myself counting calories this week! Egad! The truth is that I have be careful not to use FA as an excuse for overeating and being unaccountable about my health. I am a devious creature, and if I can find a reason to eat junk food more often, I usually will. But I have to remember that FA is about acceptance of self and others, no matter what appearances may be. It's not about giving myself permission to give up on living a healthy lifestyle and not taking care of myself.

On the good side, it is Friday of a long weekend. I have some fun plans, and some relaxation planned. Hopefully I can find some clarity and peace.