Carry On

I keep reading more of the FA materials out there, and I see the argument that not every fat person is sitting on the couch eating junk food. It makes me think of how often I sit around eating junk food. This is not something that is easy to admit, especially since it sits squarely on my shoulders. I know that I eat more junk food than I really should. I know that I am often too sedentary for my own good. I pretty much took last week off from exercise, as I was feeling under the weather thanks to that time of the month.

Regardless, I can see that I need to be more honest with myself and take responsibility for my actions. I am not one of the fat people who are super healthy in their lifestyle. I am a fat person who can pretty easily see how and why I got to this place, as difficult as that is to admit. I noticed a lot of mindless eating this weekend. I had admitted to myself the truth last week and was doing pretty good for a few days. Then the weekend arrived and I threw that all aside to indulge a bit too much. The stupid thing is that half the time I don't even want it, but I've bought it and it's sitting there, and I end up having it because I'm bored, or because I'm watching TV. I really don't want to look back at my life and see that I could have changed my behavior and gotten healthier and felt better. I have literally made myself sick by eating too much junk food, in terms of having a sore stomach and bad digestion. WHAT AM I DOING!?

There, I've said it again. Maybe if I keep admitting it, I won't be able to easily set it aside when I want to revert to old behaviors. The other thing I always struggle with is eating more of the good stuff. You see when I'm used to having treats during the day, I literally save room for them. For example, we had sandwiches on Saturday, and instead of filling up on fairly healthy sandwiches, I only had a small one, and then had a cupcake with 2 inches of icing on it. So if I go forward and stop having the cupcake/chocolate/caramel/etc. as often, I need to replace that with some healthier food if I'm hungry. I seriously find that a difficult task sometimes, as I've trained myself to save that room for the 'good' stuff.

My goals for this week:
1. Eat mindfully - be aware of what I'm eating and how I'm feeling before, during and after.
2. Exercise at least - 3 or 4 days this week - given how busy it's going to be
3. Record my food to be accountable
4. Listen to my body

Well there we have it. We're going on vacation next week, but I refuse to fall into the "might as well eat what I want, since we're almost on vacation." I also want to move a lot and eat well on our vacation.